Thursday, March 31, 2005


I have never looked so forward to doing laundry. I am excited about it! I am poor and I do my laundry at the Laundro-Mat. I am seriously wearing my last clean pair of underwear. So today is laundry day. My outfit looks ridiculous. Well not really.

I do not understand how people can poop at work. Or at someone else's house while visiting for a few hours. It's just so gross to me. I am sitting here smelling (Dude. Tell Peg to shut the f*ck up. Please. She got macadamia nut cookies. Who the f*ck cares? Not me.) a sweet air freshener hanging in the air trying to cling to the poop smell. It stinks, it's gagging me. I even have a hardtime peeing if I think someone can hear me. Let alone know that someone is going to be able to smell. Please. Spare me from your smelly butt. Go home and do your business. We all know you live within 15 minutes of here. Someone just walked into the office and said it smells good in here. ?!?!?! Does her nose not work?

There is nothing worse than going into a public bathroom and sitting on a warm toilet seat. I know that other people are using this toilet, but I try not to think about it. It's gross, I feel so dirty just thinking about it. I was my hands everytime I use the restroom. A lot of people don't. I feel dirty if I don't wash my hands after I pee. And the fact that so many people don't wash their hands, then they touch the lightswitch and the door and God knows whatelse. I hang onto my papertowel and turn the light off and open the door. I know there are poopy/pee germs everywhere because of the dirty people who don't wash their hands, but my mind is put at ease after I've used a papertowel to open the door. I think I am going to go wash my hands.

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

What is the big deal about Fiji water?

There is a first time for everything. I had a first on Sunday. Sunday was Easter as you all know, I wore a shirt I bought a few weeks ago. It was the first time in my life since I've had breasts that I didn't fill out a shirt or have them pouring out of the shirt. FIRST TIME EVER. I was very shocked, and a little sad.

I got sick of listening to all the same songs on the radio over and over and over again so I grabbed a cd that I had burned and popped it in. It was the Rolling Stones. They kick ass. I had always heard their songs on the radio and such but I had never really sat down and listened to them. They have so many different levels in their songs. I don't know how to explain it. Each time you listen, if you listen with different ears you hear something new everytime.

I went and hung out with my good friends Crow & Mindy. I have known them for a long time. Mindy is seriously the coolest, laid back, not quirky girl I know. She's so accepting of everyone. She incredibly smart, she impresses me all the time. She fun and funny. She tough though, she's nice, but don't mistake it for weak cause she'll beat the shit outta you if do mistake the two.

Crow is so offensive, he really is. But I love him. When I first met Crow I was 14 or 15, he's younger than I am. It was at the time when boys were starting to get leg hair and such. I remember Crow's leg hair was like a jungle, a crazy jungle. There was so much of it. It used to bother me, not sure why, it just seemed so unnatural. We used to hang out at my house often. I would grab scissors or a lighter or whatever and commando style, slither up behind the couch and all cat-like and with a smoothness that only I have I would leap over the couch and proceed to cut or burn a bunny, or a swirly thing or something into his leg hair. I was a sculptor of Crow's leg hair. Some crazy shit has happened with Crow and I, all good memories. He's hilarious. We always have good times.

Crow told me about this website:
Most of the stuff is a little wrong, but most of it is very inapproiate. I'm sure there's something here for everyone.

Friday, March 25, 2005

Freedom and Boys

I like boys. I was just reading Greg's comment on my blog and I was cracking up and two very cute boys walked in. They started laughing too. Amber wants to know what the difference between laughing with me and laughing at me.

Anyway, I am killing time before I am free for the week-end. 5 minutes and counting. Now that I have lost 20 pounds I am taking notice of boys and they of me. It's nice. I never took the time to notice them before because I was fat and boys don't like fat girls. I don't want to harass them like poor Pete gets it all the time. I wasn't dillusional when it came to my attractiveness though people would tell me, "But your pretty." When you are fat and people tell you you have a good personality, it's just their way of saying, "Well, at least you have something going for you." Okay. Leaving. Enjoy your week-end all.

Good morning, good morning, good morninngggg! It's time to rise and shine.

My cat cut my lip this morning with his back claw. It hurts, badly, but now that my lips are swollen, red and sensitive I don't have to wear lipstick or lipgloss. He was using my face as a launching pad to jump from my bed to this little table thing I have next to my bed.

There is a morning ritual that starts at 6:00 every morning. My cat jumps on my bed and from there jumps on this little table thing I have next to my bed where he proceeds to knock down all of my books, my glasses, drinks the water out of my glass and knocks over a coffee cup I have that contains lotion, a highlighter, 2 tubes of strawberry chapstick, buttons, and some other stuff that I don't remember. Anyway, my cat will knock everything off the table thing, which makes a lot of noise that wakes up my dog who then jumps off the bed. She grabs what she can and darts out of the room. Then I have to get up and chase her down because dammit she's not supposed to chew on everything! She's little and fast, so by the 5th time she runs through my legs I have caught onto to her little game. She is caught and my reward is a partially chewed, wet tube of chapstick, or highlighter, or button or whatever. She then prances off and pees on the carpet. She KNOWS not do to that, which really pisses me off because instead of sleeping for another hour I am chasing dogs, cleaning up piss and putting all my books and shit back. You'd think that I would learn to move my stuff, but dammit, it belongs there. The cat just wants to be fed, and he's learned the way to best wake me up. Yowling at the top of his lungs doesn't work because I lock him out of my room.

Just a little side note: When I was pregnant I used to put speakers on my stomach and blast Mozart. I saw Tool in concert when I was pregnant, as well as Cypress Hill, POD, System of A Down, Unwritten Law and Rob Zombie.

Thursday, March 24, 2005

New Hotness, Old & Busted

I am looking good today, damn good. I was pumping gas this morning and was blatantly checked out by two guys. The Pizza Guy told me I was looking "Scrumptious" or delicious or something about looking good enough to eat. Then he left the pizza warming bag at the office so I took it back to the pizza place. He wanted to know how I was going to keep the men off me this summer. I don't know beat them off with a stick? The men in the office are commenting on how good I look, so are the women. Makes me feel good. I haven't been noticed like this in years.

I went to the bank today, I tried to go between 11-12 so I wouldn't have to see Joe, but I didn't make it. He was there, the only one there, so I had to have him as my teller. Would it have been obvious if I left and came back at a later time? He looked cheesy. He's been tanning so he's all orange and red. His hair has been dyed, so instead of blonde it's now a browny-green color. He looked, well, old and busted. I don't miss him, I do feel panges of guilt for not being a better friend, but they don't last long.

Thanks Joe for shaming me into working out. Thank you Joe for helping me realize what an awesome person I am through having to defend myself against your rude and shallow comments.

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Does love light up your Christmas tree?

I am doing a whole lot of nothing for Easter. I'm really butt-hurt about it. Amber isn't doing anything, my mom & dad are going to be in Kingman, and they probably aren't doing anything up there. Easter is about family and eating a homemade meal together. Damn them all! Ruining my expectations.

I've lost 20 pounds since I started working out in January. I've got more to lose, but I can do it!

I was thinking about becoming a closet U2 fan. I know that U2 are not cool anymore, where they ever? I know that Bono does some pretty embarrassing things, like trying to sing "La Bamba". I know way too much about them. For example I know what the reasoning behind skipping 9 numbers at the beginning of Vertigo is. I can name, in order, every album U2 has put out, including the ones that aren't under the name U2, like the Passengers and the soundtrack to "The Million Dollar Hotel". I owned over 35 U2 cds at one time. I have enough U2 paraphernalia to fill up a room in my house. I can tell a U2 song after only a few beats. I started listening to U2 when I was 11, it took me a few years to discover that there were other bands that played music.

But the fact remains that I love Bono, well as much as you can love someone you have never met. I have a Bono keychain that I've had for years. The picture is circa 1984. While I was trying to buy tickets for the U2 concert this last time I almost boycotted U2 for lack of good seats and the price of tickets. Watching U2's induction into the Rock 'n' Roll Hall Of Fame gave me a renewed sense of...... admiration for Bono. God's love shines so brightly through him. You can see God's presence surrounding Bono when he speaks and when he sings. His heart, his life is clay for God's hands to mold. Use me Lord! Is the message that Bono has in his voice and lyrics. I want to be like that, in relation to God's love shining through him. Everytime he sings, he's singing praises to God, worshipping him. Bono touches something inside of me that most things in this world don't reach. His intense passion, his unrelenting drive, his profound purpose is all deep seated in his relationship with God. I strive to have all those things for myself, to have peace, to have excitement, to look forward to death so that I can meet my Maker. To come face to face with the other end of this powerful relationship, but I am not there. I have something to work for.

Friday, March 18, 2005

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

I had one blog idea, but then I read Amber's blog. So then I had another blog idea, but my mind wandered somewhere else. So now I have no blog idea.

I was going to tell you about the certain people who are so stupid that when they make a comment to you, you don't respond for fear of sounding like and ass with an "okay." Here's an example: "You have spiderwebs." Peg tells me. "Okay." is my response, so instead of that I just don't say anything and hope that she thinks that maybe I didn't hear her. Both options aren't very good, but what do you do? If you think about it it's really their fault. If they weren't so annoying or ask you the same questions over and over again or say pointless things, you would actually want to respond and carry on a coversation. I feel bad that I have so little patience and that once I'm done with you, it's done.

I'm also not a very good friend. I can only put up with so much. Everyone has their quirks, and I have to make the decision that I like you in spite of your quirks. My decision is usually that I would rather not have you as a friend because you annoy me. If you are one that I make the choice with, I am loyal to the very end. I have a few friends that I chose to love despite..... I am not happy with my lack of acceptance of others.

I was going to tell you that the first album I ever bought with my own money was Pearl Jam, Ten. I was going to tell you that I remember the first time my Dad made me say "Please" when asking for something. I was going to tell you that the first cd I ever had my sister bought me. I was going to tell you that the first time I saw U2 before I liked them, I hated them.

But I'm not in the mood to tell you any of that. So I don't know what to tell you.

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

How About Never? Is Never Good For You?

I am sick today, so if my blog isn't as attention grabbing, graphic, or exciting as usual that is my excuse.

I was at Amanda's house on Monday night to drop off her paycheck. (I've decided the reason why Amanda likes me is because I bring her money every two weeks.) I was sitting in the living room with Flint & JC. They were as usual talking trash and I said something along the lines of "Screw both of you!" The moment I said it I saw the folly of my ways. They went off... so I got up a left the room. I went into the dining room which was about 20 feet from where I was just sitting and I can hear them talking. I hear JC yell, "It's just a piece of ass! You're leaving anyway!" to Flint. I wasn't sure who they were speaking of, but of course they were talking about me. Who else could they possibly be talking about? I'm so irresistible and the topic of everyone's conversations at all times.

I started to think about it. I am not just a piece of ass. I am a beautiful woman with an awesome personality and I have a lot going for me. I do not do one night stands, I never have and I never will. I have to wake up in the morning and respect myself. And I expect respect from the person I just slept with and where's the respect in, "It was fun. What's your name again?"? I was insulted that someone could even think of me as just a piece of ass. I deserve a little more credit than that, I am a lot more than just a piece of ass. I am not a drive-thru.. Yeah, can I get a piece of ass with a blow job and a side of heavy petting? To go? Sex is about love and respect. And there is neither in a one night stand.

Monday, March 14, 2005

The End

Driving up I-10 East from Tucson to Phoenix, watching the passing the desert landscape at 85. Sitting in the back seat of a 2 door Honda Civic, with a girl who's name I don't recall at the moment driving and a guy sitting in the front passenger seat. Conversations being held, good times roll down the road with us. Laughter, smiles and memories in the making.

In the midst of a good story we hear a loud pop or a thud, we can't distinguish which. Our eyes scan the Saguaro’s and the mesquite brush looking for what interrupted our laughter. Chandler- 23 miles the green sign informs us, but that's not the answer we were searching for. Seeing nothing out of the ordinary on Earth other than the lack of other cars or human life at all; our eyes turn to skyward. And there it is. A large black orb with Kelly green, orange, fire engine red, electric blue, and lemon yellow hangs in the sky. It has a heavy, thick look to it as though someone left a box of crayons in the hot summer sun then gave it a good stir before letting it cool down. Minds working together we shift through reasoning. I don't remember who had the correct answer, but there it was, in all it's heaviness, sitting in the car with us, an Atomic Bomb had gone off over Phoenix.

A heated conversation ensued, Do we keep going? Do we turn around, try to outrun the blast and deal with the after shocks and radiation? Is this part of our purpose from God, to help re-build the United States after this new war? We all new it was Armageddon, we knew what to expect, this was taught in Sunday School. This was the tribulation. The three of us agreed to keep going in the direction we were headed in, but gun it so we don't miss out on explosion. Why we thought we were going to miss on being killed I'm not sure.

Flying down the interstate at 110, 15, 20, with shocked eyes and a peaceful heart we watch a large heat wave blasting it's way through Palm Trees and exploding buildings, racing to get to us. Finally we meet, the Honda is lifted off the ground as though we are flying reminding me of when the house is lifted up in The Wizard Of Oz. Sitting in the back seat the same feelings swallow me that run through my body forcing my feet to leave the ledge when cliff jumping in Oak Creek Canyon. There a noiseless blast of bright, searing light, the nothingness. Void of color and sound, just an endless blackness.


This was the first dream I've ever had in which I died. My dreams have always been very vivid. I can taste, touch, smell, and see details, colors, hands and feet in my dreams. Seeing colors, hands and feet in dreams says something about you, what I'm not exactly sure, but I remember reading it somewhere. I've had dreams where I wake up crying, or feeling such a deep dispare that I've fallen apart in the shower. Dreams have made me feel more appreciative of people, loved them more, cherished them more. They usually mirror real life. I've had one dream where I flew. I've had several where other people have died. Josh has died two or three times. My dad was shot outside of Safeway protecting me because I was having an asthma attack and my big brother Philip was killed by lava in the middle of a park in Dallas because of cookies. My mom protected my little brother and I from the HoneyCombs monster/animal creature thing because it was trying to break into the house and kill us.

It was a dream and not a nightmare; though I knew I was going to die I wasn't afraid. I knew I was going to Heaven, and what is there to be afraid of in Heaven?

Thursday, March 10, 2005

why you never question a drunk................

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected

a half-gallon of 2% milk,
a carton of eggs,
a quart of orange juice,
a head of romaine lettuce,
a 2 lb. can of coffee,
and a 1 lb. package of bacon.

As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a
Drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of
the cashier.

While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated,
"You must be single." The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation,
but she was Intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed

She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly
unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her
marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what,
you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"

The drunk replied, " 'Cause you're ugly."

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

I remember the exact moment I chose to love Josh and the exact moment I was done with Joe. Isn't it strange how some moments in your life stick out, like God is shining a flood light on those experiences? I never chose to love Joe and I haven't made the conscience decision to be done with Josh, though it was a conscious decision to love him.

Winter here is a low of 40* and usually sunny, regardless, it's still winter. I don't take many breaks while at work in the winter; just sit in my chair for hours on end. But Spring is here! So I've been busy planning my life. Here is my itinerary for all of you.

March 11th-13th~ White Mountains in Northeast Arizona with Amanda, Hubby, Baby & Flint
April 15th~ U2 concert in Glendale
April 24th-26th~ Las Vegas with Amber
August~ IRELAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! with Virginia

When I saw Josh he told me he was going to Ireland in the near future, I told him I hated him. Ireland is my dream vacation; I've wanted to go to Ireland for 12 years or so. I decided that when I get married if I haven't been to Ireland I was going to go for my honeymoon. But yesterday Virginia told me she was going to Ireland in August. I told her I was jealous. She invited me. So that's that. Tax refund is not going to pay bills off but to buy a ticket to Ireland. Can I die now? Well, at least AFTER I go to Ireland. God loves me. yea!

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Kicking Puppies When They're Down

I figured since Jake was talking about being mean to animals I would stick with the theme. I've been trying to sever ties with Joe. Breaking-up with my pseudo-boyfriend, it sounds so funny. Joe can't let go, but what did I expect? He's currently giving CPR to a dead relationship; talk about halitosis!

I went on my Joe-Break yesterday. We went out for brunch, which was tedious. My food tasted like, well a dead relationship.

Joe: When are we gonna hang out?

Me: Well, I'm busy this week. Friday and Saturday I have plans and Sunday after church I am going out to lunch with some people. So that brings us back to next Monday. And week nights aren't good for me because I work out at the Ridge and I don't want to drive to Cottonwood and then home, so I guess that brings us to next week-end. What do you have in mind?

Joe: Next week-end? I'm going down to Phoenix.

Me: (secretly relieved) Oh, and the week after that is Easter. So call me in April and I will see what I can do.

Joe: I liked you better when you were insecure, in your shell, before you had your friends. I want the old Annalisa back. Did you cut your hair?

Me: No, I didn't cut my hair. Besides, what difference does it make if I did cut my hair?

I get out of the truck with no "date" planned. I've stopped calling him and he notices an attitude I have when I am with him, I don't commit to hanging out with him. He tells me that our "relationship" isn't the same, there's no heart there. He doesn't get it, and I don't have the heart to kick him when he's down. I told him last night that I'm done. No more. I can't deal with him and his whining and his telling me the same thing 500 times, maybe I should hook him and Peg up?

LotsaFun: Peg is driving me crazy.

MudBan: Short drive, eh?

LotsaFun: Nah, she just drives really fast.

Monday, March 07, 2005

Beware! Criminal

Sneaking peeks while trying to look inconspicuous, I reach into the back of the filing cabinet and remove my box of Girl Scout Cookies. Sitting at my desk I open the box and pull the tray containing the cookies out. I took inventory on Friday after lunch and I had shared all but 5 of the cookies. But today there are only 3!! I mentioned to Peg that someone ate my Girl Scout Cookies. She said, "Oh, I got the munchies on Friday and I took one. I saw where you put them and helped myself. I only took one, if I had taken two I would have told you. I forgot that I even took one until you just mentioned it." Wha?!?!?! I mean... COME ON NOW!!!!! You ate my cookies, and you forgot to tell me. You talk ALL the time. Does your husband pop a quarter into you before you leave for work? And of all the non-important stuff you tell me about, you convenietly forgot to tell me you ate my cookies. I mean who eats someone else's Girl Scout Cookies? And then to go as far as to search through my drawers! Come on now.

List With Us & Get Ready To Get Screwed!

My office is stuck in 1980-something. We have Gary who currently sports a mullet, then we have David who is jammin' to "Wanted" by BonJovi. What is going on here? Talk about a Scooby Doo Moment!

We have a new lady working. She took the place of the Jackie. I pissed Jackie off so bad she quit, but that's another story. Jackie had hormone problems, she would have a fan running in the middle of the winter. It would be snowing outside and she would be in a tank top with the fan running. Peg was sick, lost like 100 pounds or something. You'd think that after someone had told you the same story once everyday you'd retain some of the information. Peg has a heater running on her all the time. I can picture it now, it's 100* outside and Peg is bundled up in a scarf and jacket with her heater running. Why can't I get someone with a normal body temperature to sit in front of me?

Peg is in her seventies, and it shows. She talks incessantly. In fact she's talking right now. I'm having a hard time concentrating on not doing my work. She keeps telling me about her grandkids and her husband and something about Prescott this week-end and pants. She will be in mid-sentence suddenly, whiplash of the brain! She goes off about something else that doesn't have anything to do with anything. On her first day here she got all tear-eyed about her husband because he sweats or something. Oh, and she doesn't eat dinner because of a reason I didn't care to remember. I want to use Jake's comment, "Do you annoy yourself?" but I don't want to be mean, and she's not fat. So I will continue to smile, nod and ignore.

Sunday, March 06, 2005

No Thanks I Use Toilet paper!

"You guys are mother bloggers!" Jeremy, Amber's husband, says to Amber and me. It is Sunday afternoon, quick stop at Amber's house so I can blog.

I hung out at Amanda's house last night. She lives with her husband, daughter, brother JC and roommate Flint. We bbq'd last night. I was specifically invited to come by JC and Flint because they "like me and think I'm fun." That's what they said. I'm fun! Anyway, they all like to drink, a lot. I'm not a drinker, my vise was always a green plant. When I get trashed I become a slutty girl who doesn't make good decisions. I hate girls like that, so therefore I don't drink so I can continue to respect myself. How many of you guys really, actually respect the drunk slutty girls? That's what I thought. You don't.

A conversation started up about a man who is suing Tawny Peaks, a stripper who wears 69HH bra because she gave him a lap dance and he got whiplash. Flint asks me, "Annalisa, what is a 69HH?" I had been drinking, not to get drunk but to have fun, so I had no idea what the hell he was talking about. 69HH? My mind went to so many different places in about a half of a second, "I don't know." was the best answer I could come up with. Suddenly all the boys want to know what size of bra I wear.

Flint: What size of bra do you wear?
Me: (turning red) I'm not telling you.
JC: Why not? Just pop one out for us to see. I bet you wear a 40DD.
Me: Not gonna happen.
Nic: If you show us your boobs I will sword fight JC. I haven't gotten laid in a week. I have to blow my own nose! (Nic then proceeds to pull his pants down.....)
Me: Stop asking! I'm not going to tell you.
JC: I can tell your age by grabbing you boobs.
Me: I'm 24. Problem solved.
Nic: Can I tune them in like a radio? (Making the appropriate motions to go along with said statement)
Flint: Why don't you lighten up? (Which I later figured out means, Show us your boobs.)
Me: I wear a 26A.
A silence falls over the house. The boys are standing in the kitchen, heads cocked a little to the left, hampsters running at full throttle. Then, DING! They all come to the same conclusion at the same time.
Flint: Bullshit!
Nic: Liar!
JC: You are so fulla shit. I still say you are a 40DD.

I don't really remember how the conversation actually ended, but I didn't tell them what size I actually wear. Better to let your mind wander right? Leave it to the imagination.

The title of the blog came from when I was little. We, meaning Amber, Nathan and I, used to stick our tongues out at each other, the comeback was, "No thanks, I use toilet paper." This went on for a long time until we said it in front of Mom. She flipped out. "You DO NOT say that." I remember being confused as to what she was upset about, but she was peeved, so it was never said again. When I was 18 or so I was driving down and that come back came into my mind and I finally understood why Mom was upset. Took 10 or 11 years but I got it now.

Friday, March 04, 2005

tickled pink

Driving home last night I felt totally content. I felt like a warm bath. Sitting in a large tub with bubbles and candles lit creating a peaceful, inviting (anyone wanna come?) atmosphere. Relaxing, not having anything to worry about. Knowing that my life is going well and there is a new adventure just around the corner. Life without Josh is good. Life without Joe is good. Life with friends and having people asking to hang out with me feels good. Being single is WONDERFUL. God takes good care of me, I know that I don't have anything to worry about. Content.

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Splinters on my tongue

I had dinner with Josh last night. We went to a Japanese restaurant in Uptown Sedona. I've never had Japanese food before. I was totally out of my element. I got Miso Soup and no spoon, only the chopsticks. I'm asking Josh what the proper way to eat soup at a Japanese restaurant with no spoon. He tells me to eat the stuff out of the soup with my chopsticks. So I'm fishing around this little bowl stabbing at pieces of tofu as they float by and something green, seaweed maybe? Do they put that in soup? I'm too focused on trying to catch my food, but I'm sure Josh is sitting on the other side of the table enjoying my hungry misery. He finally tells me that you are supposed to drink the broth then eat the stuff at the bottom. Too late, I had eaten my chopsticks wishing for porkchops.

But seriously. I had dinner with Josh last night. I was scared, nervous, and anxious. I made a commitment to myself that I wasn't going to talk about Tatum or when we dated, if he wanted to talk about it, he could bring it up. Which he did not, so it was not talked about. He's changed a lot of things in his life, and I mine. I kept thinking, "Why couldn't you have been this person when we were dating?" We left the restaurant with hugs and it was nice seeing you.

I must admit that I love Josh, and Amber was right, as always. It's not the same kind of love that it used to be. Hanging out with Josh last night felt like it used to before we started dating, before I got pregnant, before everything went bad. It was comfortable, but at the same time a little scary. It has given me a renewed sense, of if it's meant to happen it will happen. It's sad that Josh and I will never be "just friends" again. There is too much past, things go too deep, nothing is on the surface. Even if we do become friends again with light heartedness and laughter, it's all behind the curtain.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Read It! It says "Population one and you can't come!"

Today was an interesting Joe Day. I think God brought Joe into my life so that I would have something to blog about. Joe came and picked up me for my daily Joe-Break that isn't so daily since a few weeks ago. He opens my door for me and starts whining about how he was on hold forever on a call he just hung-up with. So I asked him what he was on hold for. "Oh I'm ordering stuff for this week-end, but I can't tell you about that." He's going to Goodyear to see his ex and he's not allowed to tell me about he and his ex. After hearing someone bitch about something four thousand times it gets kinda old. So off we go. We go about 500 ft and I tell him to take me back to work. He backs up the whole 500'. Have a nice day.

So I get home at 9:00, and the phone is ringing. Joe always calls me that very second as I walk in the door, everytime. I don't know what it is. So after contemplating whether or not to answer the phone, I pick-up.

"I almost got fired today."

"Oh yeah? For what? " (being stupid I'm sure)

"I went online and downloaded 14 virus's into the banks computer. I'm on suspension with no pay."

"Huh." which means good job dumb ass, and it also means I can go into the bank and make a deposit without the fear of drama.

"So what was with that drama at lunch today?" He then proceeds to tell me his story of what happened at lunch today, none of which was even close to what actually happened. After his make- believe moment he goes on to tell me what a bitch I am. (Okay, I know I can be a bitch, I am even a little too proud of that fact. I'm sorry if I enjoy flexing my bitch muscle.) As I proceed to tell Joe that I am not going to put with his crap and that I don't need this, he's gets upset. Ohh! Ohh! Pick me! I need abuse tonight!

Amber! Mac asked me about Phil's nickname. After I explained it to him, he walked over to Phil's desk and said, "Hotdog, you have a call on line one." !??!?!?!?!?! He's not allowed to call Phil Hotdog! I stood up and peered around the filing cabinet and Phil gave me the "WTF?" look. Then we laughed. It was strange.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Ohh! I am so IT!

Amber has given me some questions and this is how it works:This is a "Tag! You're It" kind of exercise except you have to volunteer to be tagged.

Now, here are the rules. I'll offer to interview the first 2 or 3 people to respond to this post that will follow these rules:

1. Leave me a comment saying "interview me."
2. I will respond by asking you five questions here following your comment. They will be different questions than the ones below.
3. You will update your blog/site with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

So, here are my questions from Amber:

1. What is your favorite memory with a pet?
Boba is my favorite pet. I don't have a specific favorite memory of him, all of them. Him chasing him ball, pinecone, or bone in the yard. How he would jump SO HIGH to catch the ball in the air. How you told him to get his ball and he would come back with his bone, or a pinecone, or a rope and sometimes he would even bring his actual ball to you. How he would get SOOO EXCITED looking at the bird chain hanging from Mom & Dad's ceiling fan that he would chase his tail until he was worn out. I loved how he was so happy to see his mom and he didn't like anyone else. I LOVED how he sounded like such a toughy but he was a big wuss. How about the Christmas-Bo? J-Boba, JB, Jibby, J-Bo, J-Do, Boba-Doba. I like the fact that Josh and I counted ALL of our change and turned it in to the bank for cash money and we had $160, then we went to the pound to get him. I like the fact that Boba was supposed to be Josh's dog, but when I left I took him. When he rode in the bed of my truck for the first time and jumped out while I was going 20mph and literally scared the shit out of himself and all over his leg. I loved that dog. Boba is my favorite pet memory.

2. Who do you love to hate the most and why?
I don't hate anybody. okay, okay, okay you can stop laughing. Mac, my boss. He really is a good, kind, sweet man who is losing his memory and his eyesight. He's a good source of frustration on my part. Sometimes I feel as though some of the agents in the office and I sit around waiting to pounce on the next stupid thing he does, says, or thinks because it's never very far off. Mac has been good to me. Am I allowed to feel guilty in my enjoyment from abusing this poor, old man? Sheesh. Now I feel all bad about loving to hate Mac. Thanks Amber.

3. If you could name one person you have lost touch with that you would want to call up and invite you to dinner, who would that be?
Easy. Josh, the father of Tatum for all of you who don't know who Josh is. There would have to be contingencies though. One of two things would have to happen. 1. I would be totally and completely over Josh so we could be JUST friends and I would be okay with that and walk away feeling content. Or 2. We would happily ever after.

4. If you could force one person to give up all their money to go to a particular cause, who would it be and what would it be for?
Hell, I don't know. To take away all of someone's money I would have to dislike them. Some gold-toothed, foul mouthed rapper, I don't care which one. 50 cent has a lot of money doesn't he, even though he's not gold-toothed. The one with the most money. Those Crunk guys or whatever they call themselves, spending all their money on diamond crust goblets? *roll of the eyes* Gimme a break. I would want them to spend all their money on developing a program that would create ass camps in the slums and ghettos.

5. What do you think the silliest thing people in general do?
Read blogs.